When’s the best time to take a dump at work? That’s easy; when there’s an office wide meeting going on, nobody knows who the fuck I am anyways so I won’t be missed (the joys of being bottom 1%).
I’m against fair trade coffee, I prefer my coffee to be unfairly traded so I can taste the blood, sweat and tears of the hardworking Colombians that made it.
I swear each time I get in my car by myself it smells like fart. And it wasn’t me.
Sonofabitch. Where is my attorney when I need him.